worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
