Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
