If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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