My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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