Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
