Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
