every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
