he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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