There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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