Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
