I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sarcasm needs its own font
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
