Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize