this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
