I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
