WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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