PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
