(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
