He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
