come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
