Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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