Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
