What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
