There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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