i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
