There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
