I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.