drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert