If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize