i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
