I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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