Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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