I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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