I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
wow bdsm is so cute
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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