Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize