Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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