what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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