just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
