Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
