so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is Oprah even human
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
