where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
