I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
