you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
