I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
