Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
