The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
