i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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