my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
