Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
