He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
