my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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