three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
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when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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