my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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