Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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