Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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