I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So much Jack, so little girl.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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