he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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