I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
