Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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