I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
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You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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