The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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