Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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