I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
