I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
