Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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