Porn is love you can see.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
