Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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